The Thieves

You know, they really don’t make enough heist movies. It’s a genre with generally tried and true structures and elements, and often lend themselves to fun little adventures with satisfying finales, but we don’t really see too many of them, especially these days – in a good year you might see one at most. So it was a surprise to discover ‘The Thieves’, a South Korean heist movie. It was an even bigger surprise to find that it was a really entertaining film, boasting slick visuals, an entertainingly broad cast of characters, some exciting, unexpected twists and an energetic finale. It’s a really entertaining flick and a genuine surprise in how good it is. I’ve seen my share of heist movies, and The Thieves is one of the good ones, with its slick style, country-hopping action, heist planning and surprisingly exciting action. It’s got a good sense of humour about itself as well, with light comedy and fun characters, while also handling drama well.

Operating out of Seoul is a small gang of thieves that pull off heists together. Popie is the brains, Zampano is his protégé, Yenicall nimbly scales walls, Chewingum runs interference and Pepsee cracks safes. In Hong Kong, career thief Chen leads his own team which specialises in more hands-on operations, such as armed robbery. Notorious master thief Macao Park brings the two teams together for a big time heist that requires all their skills and specialities; the Korean team’s specialities in silent, carefully planned heists, and Chinese team’s expertise in quick-thinking armed robbery.

Their target is the Tear of the Sun, an exceptionally valuable jewel held by the mistress of a powerful gangster notorious for murdering anybody who crosses him. Locked within a safe in a massive, heavily guarded Macau casino, the heist will involve careful planning, preparation, teamwork and a little luck to pull off. Tensions quickly rise amidst the two teams, where distrust and dislike between the groups lead to various plans, deals, arrangements and agendas being formed as everybody looks to their own secret motivations. The biggest tensions are between Macao Park, his former protégé Popie and his former partner/lover Pepsee, with their relationship being a messy love triangle of past betrayal.

It’s almost an antithesis to ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ and its sort of slick, swanky heist films. In that movie and those like it the team were all liked each other, worked together well and the heist went off perfectly – even when it looked like it was going wrong it was just another part of the plan. ‘The Thieves’ couldn’t be more different. It’s slick and stylish for sure, and most of the thieves are likeable, but the way things play out is anything but smooth. The team is a shaky shambles from the start, with distrust, dislike and disharmony amongst the ranks and its numerous members all having their own personal agendas. When things go wrong they really go wrong, and the team fractures even more as various schemes and motivations come to light. It becomes much more action packed than one would expect in its finale, where motivations are revealed and things get dangerous for everybody involved. I actually really enjoyed the shift, as it lead to some impressive moments and let some of the characters show off their skills.

The two ragtag teams of thieves are entertaining, made up of a collection of likeable thieves and thugs, with even the scummiest of the lot (Popie is a bit of a douchebag) still being entertaining. Everybody has their part to play, and when things look as though they might go wrong you care about what happens to them. Their interactions are fun. The aged Chewingum and Chen start a little romance, while sexy Yenicall uses her charms to mess with some of the men. The strongest is the Macao Park/Pepsee interactions, with both having their own baggage going into the heist. There are a lot of characters though, and some of them don’t get as much attention as the others. It’s mostly fine, though one or two ancillary characters suddenly get forgotten as the movie continues.

‘The Thieves’ was a big surprise for me, if only because I wasn’t sure what to expect when going in. It revealed itself to be a good film, especially as it continued. Every time it changed gears I enjoyed the new direction it took. It’s one of the good ones.

Tiktik: The Aswang Chronicles

 

What the hell is a tiktik and what the hell is an aswang? Those are two questions that’ll probably come to mind when looking at this movie. Aswang, from what I gathered, are some kind of Filipino vampire/were-dog. They’re gypsies who can transform into monstrous forms and eat human flesh. They eat hearts and livers, but prefer to eat unborn children. They appear almost like vampires – they have horrific sharp teeth, they hiss, their bite and saliva is infectious and they have super strength and speed. They can also transform into skinny dog monsters. They’re vulnerable to salt, garlic and stingray tails, and when the sun rises they lose all their powers. As for tiktik? That’s where things get a little more confusing. The word only appears once in the film, said by one of the murderous aswang. From what I can tell, a tiktik is a particular kind of aswang. All tiktiks are aswangs, but not all aswangs are tiktiks. Got it? No? That’s ok, it really doesn’t matter.

So then what exactly is Tiktik: the Aswang Chronicles? It’s a Filipino action/horror film with a tiny bit of comedy thrown in, shot mostly on green screen. And it’s alright. It’s not a scary movie and it might be a bit all over the place, with a weak story and thing characters, but it’s entertaining for what it is and the cultural spice gives things a different flavour.

Makoy, an arrogant jerkass, travels to his heavily pregnant ex-girlfriend Sonia’s tiny countryside hometown hoping to reconcile with her. Sonia doesn’t want to see him and tells him to leave, egged on by her headstrong mother Fely. Her timid father, Nestor, is more welcoming as he feels that underneath Makoy’s douche persona he truly cares for Sonia. Nestor convinces Makoy to stay for Sonia’s birthday the next day and they head into town to buy supplies. Wanting a suckling pig to roast in celebration, they head out of town to buy one from the large family of gypsies that live in the mountains. The rude and impatient Makoy needlessly antagonises and insults them and they head home with a pig in tow. But the insults aren’t forgotten and they certainly aren’t forgiven; the gypsies are actually aswang, flesh hungry were-dog monsters who feast on unborn babies. The aswang want to kill Makoy and eat Sonia’s unborn baby, and so Makoy and Sonia’s family must barricade themselves inside their house and survive the night.

 Aswang are weird, initially appearing as basically vampires (big teeth, superhuman strength/speed, hissing) Things get downright bizarre when their patriarch appears; when things get really dire (and the film switches from horror into more action-based territory for its finale), the aswang’s leader opens his mouth and a crow sticks its head out. The crow vomits a disgusting liquid into his hands, which his children and grandchildren lap up. They then transform into skinless dog monsters, much like werewolves. The leader, for his part (and completely confusing me entirely) transforms into a demonic looking giant crow-man monster. Why is he a crow when his children are dogs? No freaking idea. I feel the answer would be ‘because aswang’.

I always find it interesting watching horror films from different countries dealing with culturally-specific monsters or nasties from folklore, mythology or legends generally because it’s usually something new and different, but also because they never seem to spend too much time explaining what’s going on or what the horror is. Nobody acts like it is strange or even out of the ordinary when the aswang show up. In fact, everybody seems to know and accept that they’re around, which is why everybody is so well supplied with garlic, salt and aswang-killing weapons. ‘Oh look out, there are aswang’ seems to be the muted response from some characters, and while they do explain what they are and how to kill them it’s done quickly and the characters already know what they’re doing. I find it refreshing when a film’s characters are well-educated, equipped and prepared for the horrific beasties, usually because the film’s audience is assumed to know what’s going on. It’s the opposite of American horror films that spend a lot of time explaining things. 

 

Makoy is a massive toolbag for almost the entire movie. It’s one of those movies where he magically redeems himself to the other characters by killing monsters, but even then he remains a jerk throughout. He doesn’t grow as a person, he doesn’t learn anything but by the end Makoy is slashing down monstrous dog-like aswang with mystical stingray whips because he’s the main character. It’s a clichéd character arc, but thankfully the film doesn’t spend too much time looking at it. Thankfully the film also makes fun of him, pointing out his poser crap, his terrible decision making skills and how dumb he tends to be. In fact a great strength is the use of humour – while I wouldn’t call it hilarious, the levity makes it a fun ride and a better film than if it had tried the serious route. The rest of the cast are similarly simple – Sonia doesn’t have much going on apart from being pregnant, her mother is righteously bitchy about Makoy being a tool, Nestor is wimpy because his wife browbeats him constantly while Sonia’s cousin brings the comic relief, usually being the target for Makoy’s douchebag behaviour.

 

The pacing is initially slower than you might expect. It takes its time in the beginning, introducing the thin characters and setting up the scenario. I thought it worked partly to its benefit, since it lets the rest of the film have a sense of escalation. After building some tension and atmosphere, it becomes a little bit of a chase movie, then a house-under-siege horror film before becoming more of an out-in-the-open action film for the finale. As a result it sort of removes some of the atmosphere and tension that gets built up. While I’d never say it’s scary, the initial scenes at dusk in the village and gypsy camp give a cool pulpy horror story feel, and an initial car chase through the woods feels a little tense.

The film is noted as being the first ever Filipino movie shot in green screen. It’s not entirely green screen (despite the claims, those interior locations are real), but the effect is used in exterior locations and for landscape backgrounds. It doesn’t look bad. In fact I think it looks fine, and actually adds to the atmosphere. The surrounding countryside of woods and hills have a somewhat sinister look to them, while the few locales, like a bustling little market and the aswang’s gypsy camp feel legit. The other CGI doesn’t fare quite as well. The transformed aswang aren’t anywhere near being convincing, looking like obviously fake computer generated dog monsters. It takes some of the bite out of the finale. 

 

I enjoyed the film, probably more than I expected. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was expecting actually, but I think the added humour and cultural flavour spiced things up. While the blend between horror and action might not be the smoothest, especially after the slow build-up, I still had a fun time with the movie. Let me put it this way, apparently there’s a sequel and from watching the original I’d be interested in seeing it.

Eastern Condors

 

Combine the Dirty Dozen with Rambo, mix in martial arts and what do you get? Eastern Condors, perhaps the most awesome, ridiculous, action-packed movie about the Vietnam War you’ll ever see. Directed by and starring Sammo Hung, Eastern Condors seems like something of a passion project – the man even lost weight for the role. It’s a big departure from the films he usually made, with a more serious tone and more brutal action. It’s also a big showcase for the Hong Kong action talent of the time, with a cast made up of big Hong Kong action stars. I cannot stress enough how bizarrely entertaining this movie is. It just all works so immensely well.

Twelve convicts taken from various prisons, including the tough no-nonsense Hung (Sammo Hung) are conscripted into a secret mission by Asian-American Lieutenant Colonel Lam (Lam Ching-ying) at the height of the Vietnam War. Their objective: go behind enemy lines in Vietnam and destroy a hidden US munitions dump before Vietcong forces get their hands on it. Their mission is tough from the get go, being called off just as they’ve parachuted into enemy territory. With no support or backup, barring black market trader Rat Chieh (Yuen Biao), his mentally unstable uncle and a trio of Cambodian lady guerrillas with their own agenda, the team hurry to find the munitions while being hunted down by an eccentric Vietnamese general (Yuen Wah) and his forces.

Action-wise, it’s great, with a massive amount of variety and combat with a real punch to it. There are gun fights, fist fights, double crosses, explosions; all that good stuff. Knives are thrown into throats and flying kicks seem to solve every problem. There are also many of the staples of Vietnam War movies thrown in; gunboats travel across rivers, the main cast get taken prisoner in an enemy camp complete with a bamboo water prison and there’s even a Russian roulette sequence. It’s also surprisingly violent at times. Apart from the shooting and stabbings, some of the fist-fighting ends pretty brutally.

The cast is absolutely amazing, being a great collection of Hong Kong action stars of the time. There are so many of them in there it’s astounding, and the movie gives room for them to show off their skills. Sammo Hung, looking slimmer and more athletic, does a great job in a role that’s the complete opposite of the roles he usually did. Hung traditionally played mischievous scamps, but here he’s serious, mostly silent and no-nonsense, showing off a toughness he didn’t have in his usual roly-poly comedic roles. Lam Ching-ying is great and authoritative as the Lieutenant Colonel, wanting to both succeed in the mission and also protect his team and Yuen Wah is fun as the villainous general. Yuen Biao does a very familiar and Yuen Biao-like role as the happy-go-lucky trader, bringing humour to counteract Hung’s more serious role. He still shows off all sorts of flip kicks and the like though. The characters are given just enough characterisation that you start to feel bad when some of them die. The focus is more on the action than the simple story, but they make sure to give most characters some quirks or character to differentiate them, and even the few brief exchanges between them make most of them likeable.

There is some occasional nonsense to be had – a scene in the jungle involves Sammo Hung killing Vietcong by shooting palm leaves at them like arrows. I have no idea how that would even work but it’s still entertaining and awesome. That’s very much how the entire film is, entertaining and awesome. It all works together so well, with an excellent pace that keeps it entertaining throughout. It’s a really good time and a lot of fun, and easily one of the best films Sammo Hung has done. 

Over Your Dead Body

 

Take Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan, swap out ballet for theatre, give it a distinctly Japanese spin, dial up the psycho-sexual insanity up, frame it around a ghost story and hand it over to director Takashi Miike and you’ll end up with Over Your Dead Body (referred to as OYDB from here on), a psychological horror film about stage theatre. It’s billed as a ‘wild cinematic detour’ for Takashi Miike, but it’s really not much of a detour at all really. Miike has made ghost stories before (‘One Missed Call’), and he’s done psycho-sexual horror-thrillers (‘Audition’). Over Your Dead Body is like a combination of these, but it comes up lacking. It’s a bit too slow and the payoff, while freaky, isn’t satisfying enough. Its premise is really interesting, but the film just doesn’t pull it off.

Miyuki is an actress in a theatre troupe, along with her distant boyfriend Kousuke. They’re doing a series of rehearsals for a production of a famous, popular play, ‘Yotsuya Kaidan’, a centuries-old horror tale of ghostly vengeance. In it an opportunistic ronin named Iemon (played by Kousuke after Miyuki gets him the part) secretly murders a man and marries his sickly daughter, Imu (played by Miyuki), to inherit their estate. She loves him, bears him an ill child and takes the brunt of his abuse, until he earns the affections of a much younger, far wealthier woman. He conspires with her family to kill Imu so he can remarry, and does so violently, but upon her death she curses him and her ghost takes violent revenge.

Real life begins to imitate the play, as Miyuki’s relationship with Kousuke begins to mirror that between Imu and Iemon. As the rehearsals continue, both Miyuki and Kousuke start struggling to separate reality from fiction as madness begins to take control.

OYDB is a very slow movie for its entire beginning hour. Two thirds of the movie is slow, building up atmosphere It is pretty atmospheric, with the few locales (the theatre, backstage, Miyuki’s apartment, a traffic stop at a construction site) becoming somewhat creepier as the film continues. The problem is the build-up isn’t very interesting for that first hour. Once the build-up is finally over though, it gets pretty freaky in quick order. When the play turns brutal in its final scenes, the film starts getting violent and creepy, with the brief moments of psychological uncertainty ramping up until it reaches its climax, where both the play and the character’s psyches reach violent ends.

It’s similar to the build-up in ‘Audition’, but here it’s far less interesting. Part of the reason is the dual-narrative – regularly switching between the Imu/Iemon rehearsal and the Miyuki/Kousuke backstage real-life dealings. The rehearsal scenes are long, drawn out and while they might be true to the Japanese play (I’ve no idea) they aren’t particularly engaging for the most part, or at least not in the beginning (it does get interesting towards the end). It takes a while before the rehearsal actually feels like a story, and by that stage it’s towards the end of the film. Alternatively, we really don’t spend that much time outside of the rehearsals, so our connection to the characters when they aren’t playing their roles is muted.

It’s also less effective overall because of a lack of a likeable lead. Kousuke is a total unlikeable douchebag from beginning to end, not even bothering to hide his constant philandering or blatant disinterest in Miyuki. Seeing him get his comeuppance isn’t as satisfying as it should be, partly because of how confusing the final twist is. Miyuki on the other hand turns out to be completely mental in a pretty severe way from the get-go (the big, rough, most ‘Miike-ish’ scene involves Miyuki with sterilised kitchen utensils in the shower). I really couldn’t sympathise much with her since she’s already strange at the beginning. The other characters aren’t much of a presence, neither within the play or the film, mostly there to incite or exacerbate more psychological tension between the couples.

The ending itself, despite the build-up, doesn’t make much sense and opens up a massive number of questions. The movie seemingly goes extremely supernatural and extremely psychological at the same time, which leaves some big confusing twists. Were the supernatural aspects real, imagined or just a red herring to trick the audience? Did the psychotic psychological stuff happen at all? No idea. The final twist itself is fairly familiar, but the details are so very confusing. A lot of the scares and big freaky moments in the film are of a similar nature, often unexplained.

OYDB is disappointing all up despite its few good aspects, but most of its faults can really be put to its premise, which is a shame because of how interesting it is in concept. The stage play makes up so much of the film that it really consumes it, which lessens the impact. The stage play stuff is done well though, with the set design and costumes looking and feeling exactly like what I’d assume they’d be for a real theatre production. The revolving stage and some of the sets are particularly impressive, even at the times when the play itself isn’t particularly compelling. The film overall is well shot on a technical level as well, with excellent use of darkness and shadows for the theatre scenes. The acting likewise is pretty decent, particularly towards the end where the characters aren’t so much as acting in a play but living it out.

On second thought, maybe calling it a ‘cinematic detour’ is the best way to describe the overall film. It’s basically a stage play itself, to the point where I could imagine Miike producing and directing a theatre production of the central ghost story. It certainly looks the part, and the film’s focus on it shows a passion for the theatrical arts. It’s a shame that it doesn’t come together particularly well. The elements are all there, and it is fairly effective in getting some chills in, but they don’t fit together into a satisfying whole and it just doesn’t pay off in the end.