This is the sad tale of one man who is determined to become a media personality, despite not having a personality of his own. This is the tale of Andy G. This is a man who has endured in the Australian television industry, hosting many shows and having a presence on the radio. Yet he has no fame nor any admiration, he's just ignored. People accept that he's there, but nobody really cares. He has made himself something of a career in television, but he has never differentiated himself, never proven himself anything more than just another host. Though he has tried. Through the years Andy G has rebranded himself several times, trying to find some new form that works.
These are the big moments of Andy G's transformation.
Back in time maybe a decade or so, Australia had a big television event; the first ever season of Australian Idol. It was a big deal at the time as nobody knew exactly what it was all going to be about. The show itself proved to be popular, churning out instantly forgettable 'singers' who faded quickly. The show had a pair of hosts, two generic fellows who lacked chemistry and performed as you'd expect them to. One of this duo was a man who called himself Andy G. He wore generically hip clothes, talked like a generic hip host and acted in a totally generic, safe and forgettable way. Even his name, Andy G (or Andrew G depending on who was addressing him) was generic, like something a teacher would call a school kid if there were more than one Andrew in a class.
Eventually the hosting duo were cut from the new season of Australian Idol, so Andy G found himself without work for a little while. Then, attempting to capitalise on what little public clout he had from his little hosting gig, he tried to cement his 'television personality' status by hosting a game show. This time he wore a suit, opting to be seen as more professional and interesting. And it all fell down.
The show (The Con Test) was confusing. Contestants had to answer a series of questions individually, which would earn them money. Between rounds, before they were told how many questions they got right, they were given the chance to quit in which case, if they were indeed last, they would win whatever money they had earned at that point. If they quit but they weren't last then they'd win no money. If nobody quits between rounds, then whoever got the least number of questions right was eliminated and won nothing. So basically it was just a plain regular show where the loser gets kicked out after each round, unless some idiots thinks they've done badly and eliminates themselves. The show stunk badly. and was canned very quickly.
Andy G was painful to watch. Stiff and uncomfortable, he lacked any sort of charm or charisma, standing stock still with a sombre expression as he read out questions and attempted banter with contestants who had no idea what they were doing. It was clear that Andy G did not have the chops for public speaking, nor the personality to become a media darling.
Fast forward several years, and Andy G appeared again in a fairly regular series of annoying cinema advertisements posing as entertainment. 'Hoyts Insider (presented by Coca Cola)' was an annoying five minute presentation that appeared before movies when you went to Hoyts cinemas. While shilling Coke and a new camera in Hollywood studios, Andy also shilled whatever movies were coming out and provided single sentence 'interviews' with film stars. These things were annoying, since they'd play maybe two of them before the movie began. During this time two things happened, Andy G changed his name and grew a generic personality. He changed his name from his 'hip' wannabe celebrity moniker to his original name, Andrew Gunsberg. He also adopted the smiling, positive tool personality of countless other forgettable hosts and wannabe celebrities. His generically normal, hip clothes were back, and he looked and acted more like he did on his initial Australian Idol run. He was more confident, but then again he wasn't in front of a large group of people, only in front of the film crew.
Andy eventually made his way to the radio...in America. It's the reverse of the Arj Barker situation; nobody in America wanted Arj so he came to Australia (and we don't want him here either). Likewise, nobody in Australia wanted Andy G, so he went to America. His job was to promote all the most popular 'flavour of the month' music; basically anything that trended on the top twenty charts. His entire gimmick was that he was from Australia and therefore must have some sort of deep understanding of what music Aussies currently love. Again he lacked anything to define him, sort of just becoming another radio personality.
Then a few years passed and something else happened. Like many desperate people who are frustrated at not getting the things they want, he went through another metamorphosis. He's dropped the fake confidence from his time in America and regrew his stiff, serious persona from his failed game show days. He is now Osher Gunsberg, adopting a foreign name after having a spiritual journey where he found himself. That's not a joke, he actually said that. He's now going to present on a news show, providing his insights to the Australian public. And I can't help but laugh. It's a weird sort of change, where he's just sort of collapsed on himself.
For me this is just ridiculous. I guess because I've been exposed to him, and actually remember him from his early days, the entire thing just looks like a total farce to me. The constant name changes, constant searching for some way he can fit in to television; it's all desperate rebranding. And G has never found a way to get into the public's good faith, and its not through lack of trying. Though I feel he's trying in the wrong way. He doesn't have the natural knack for it; he doesn't have the charisma or personality needed to make people like him. And instead of trying to learn that, or even just finding a niche he can fit into he's just constantly rebranding himself in the hope that the next time he does it everything will fit.
The straw that broke this camel's back was the television ads we've had recently for channel 7, where some random guy runs around talking to the news anchors and actors from various shows. At one point he walks past Andy. Andy is talking to two girls (who are a head taller than him, he's tiny) and the girls are listening intently. And I thought to myself, 'Well that's a situation that's never happened in real life'. Andy G has never had anything insightful or interesting to say, and nobody has ever been that interested in listening to him. Yet that's the image he's currently trying to cultivate with his new 'Osher' personality. Insightful and interesting, with important things to say. But I'm not convinced. To me, he'll always be sad and lonely Andy G, trying desperately to fit in where nobody wants him.
But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm giving somebody a harder time than they deserve. Andy G has been around for a long time, mostly in forgettable programs or radio stations nobody listens to. He's the sort of host you get when either your show isn't interesting or people are going to watch it anyway. He's an irrelevancy, something there to fill a function that isn't needed. And maybe he knows this. Maybe that's why he's constantly changed his personality, constantly changed his name, constantly searching for something that fits. Or maybe he's just schizophrenic and this is all just his various personalities fighting for control. That certainly would explain the name changes and complete personality shifts over the years.
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