Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Read the title. Seriously, do it. Killer Klowns from Outer Space. You already probably know what I’m going to say. Or do you?

The central concept is satisfyingly simple to grasp – aliens, which look like clowns, attack a small American town and kill off, or harvest, the townsfolk. A few boring human characters try to stop them. That’s basically it.

It’s not great. The clown premise is already goofy, and the movie isn’t gory enough or funny enough to count as comedy-horror or normal horror, stranding itself in that weird limbo of being a juvenile horror movie that never really works. Deaths are oddly creative while also being mostly bloodless.

The big problem is that the characters are bland and forgettable, to the point where I don’t even remember any of their names or anything about them. There’s the main guy (who does nothing), his girlfriend (who gets kidnapped, thus fulfilling her sole role in the movie), the cop (who basically becomes the main hero by being the only one capable of doing anything), the jackass police chief (who just seems to like yelling at everybody) and the two ‘zany’ comic relief characters who only appear in the final third, have maybe five minutes screen time tops and aren’t actually funny.

It’s a pretty standard alien-invasion/horror movie with a silly premise, an even sillier set of monsters, dull characters, confused sensibilities and a lack of scares.

…and I actually kinda like it.

It’s stupid and goofy but it’s fun, despite its problems (or maybe even because of them).

I found it oddly entertaining, even with all the negative aspects. Part of it is that it gets right to the point. There aren’t any long boring stretches, and it never hides the villains. The Klowns are up front and centre, the killings start instantly and it never spends too much time on needless exposition. The dull, boring parts from most horror movies are mostly avoided here. As dull as the characters are, we never spend more than a few minutes at a time in their company. I also can’t help but like the Klowns, even with their silly, cheap-looking effects and general goofiness.

There’s a really odd commitment and infectious enthusiasm towards the central ‘evil alien clown’ premise evident. They didn’t half-ass this when it comes to the clowns or circus crap. The Klowns have guns that fire popcorn, cocoon townsfolk in cotton candy, attack people with hand puppets and balloon animals and other clown-based paraphernalia. The inside of their spaceship (which resembles a circus big-top) is carnival themed, with ball pits, bright colours and assorted clown goofiness abound. The Klowns all look different, with a surprising number of them showing up, including the final giant evil commander Klown. They really tried hard on the ‘alien clown’ aspect of the movie, and it’s a lot of fun to see what silliness they came up with (even if the effects aren’t all that great).

The human aspect does bring the movie down, with the cast being really boring. The dull heroes don’t do anything for a long period of the movie, until the cop grows a pair and starts taking care of business. The few main characters are the only people who seem to realise that the Klowns are killer aliens. The townsfolk, including the asshole chief of police, seem incapable of noticing that the Klowns are horrific looking monsters. They have misshapen bodies, weirdly bulbous heads and giant freaking shark teeth, yet – barring the main few characters - nobody seems to notice, not even when people are getting killed. They all just assume that a bunch of clowns have turned up in town.

There’s also an odd level of inconsistency as to what the Klowns are capable of, with it going from circus-based weaponry to, from what I can tell, supernatural powers. First they use clown-based weaponry to kill people (ray guns, killer balloons, deadly pies), then they show off physical prowess (one punches a guy’s head off, another sticks his arm inside a guy’s back and controls him like a puppet). But then there’s a weird scene where one of the Klowns creates shadow puppets against a brick wall, and then the shadow puppet (of a T Rex) comes to life and eats a bunch of people. How the hell does that work? What’s more confusing is how to kill them; they only die if you destroy their big red noses, which instantly causes them to spin around really fast, turn into green crystals and then explode into fireworks. What the fuck?

There is untapped potential here, with a level of creepiness just under the surface that isn’t quite able to come out. Give the right director and a few tweaks to the screenplay and design, and this could have been a genuinely unsettling movie. The Klowns, and some of the stuff they do, could be really freaky as shit, but here it’s all diminished by the silliness overtaking everything else. The Klowns cocoon living survivors in cotton candy, and then drink their blood (through silly straws). That’s pretty creepy, but it doesn’t quite come across there. Similarly, towards the end there’s basically a Klown death squad patrolling the streets and gunning down human survivors. If it wasn’t so cartoony it might be freaky as hell, but the commitment to the clown-themed diminishes the potential creepiness. A perfect example is a scene of one of the Klowns trying to coax a little girl out of a burger joint so he can kill her. It’s already potentially creepy, but is ruined by the revelation that he has a big goofy mallet behind his back.  

So in the end I actually had fun with this. It's no classic, and it won't rock your world, but as far as killer clown alien movies go this is entertaining enough.